school of life
My first trip to Hawaii was cataclysmic! I sidestepped all conventional logic and deviated from a well worn path that I had been on for 12 years. The one that leads from school out to the the real world of adulthood. I jumped on a plane and flew to Hawaii while the rest of my schoolyard friends sat exams for the HSC. Ludicrous decision some could say, but HSC wasn’t a part of my dream and Hawaii was.
For the first time in my schooling life I could relate to the kids that felt stressed out about final exams. I never really thought much about my school performance but my performance in Hawaii, surfing in front of all my sponsors and child hood idols, I needed to nail that exam and I was shitting myself in the days leading up to it.
I didn’t know if I would have the guts to take off on big waves, or even paddle out. Would I be too scared and fail the test? It was too late to go back to school and finish. I had made my decision and now I needed to make sure It was a good one.
A few days after arriving on the island we were informed of an approaching swell, Ill never forget it. It was late in the evening and we all sat around our team manager to get a pep talk about what was coming. “all you new groms that are in Hawaii for the first time listen up. It sounds like a huge swell is going to hit tomorrow, this is what you need to know”
I absorbed every word, every gesture. All my senses were fixated on this big wave legend as he shared his wisdom. I listened liked my life depended on it. At the end of his talk he dialled a number on the phone, put it on speaker and held it up to the room… silence simmered in anticipation of what we would hear. An automated voice mechanically delivered exact details of the approaching swell. Our team leaders commentary to the report was “strap your nuts on boys! its going to be big! First light tomorrow… get some sleep”
I couldn’t sleep at all and to make things worse, the sound of the ocean, which was about 100 meters away from our beach front shack, started turning up the volume. The waves of the new swell exploded in the darkness with such force that the whole house rattled! The windows shook and the floor quivered in response to the thunderous boom of each wave. Louder and louder with every passing hour. The energy was insane and my mind was ablaze with stories of the looming future. “Will I have what it takes to face what ever is out there?” For the first time in 12 long years I wished I was safe behind a desk at school. “What have I done?”
The next morning the waves were incredible! Huge clean lines of swell making contact with shallow reefs that shape them into the best looking tubes id ever seen, the childhood dream right there in front of me, the real life version of the waves I’d been drawing all over my school books for over a decade.
We all waxed our boards and ran towards the ocean. I paddled out and watched heroes of mine get mindlessly tubed and for the first 30 minutes I didn’t even attempt to catch one. Then it happened, a wave broke slightly wide of the reef and everyone other than myself was out of position. I turned and paddled, stood up and dropped into a moving mountain. I was way too wide to be inside the barrel but it was there right behind me. The forceful exhalation of this beast of a wave almost blew me off the board and the thrill of it made me open my mouth and yell! I was high! My good friend was standing on the beach about to paddle out, he dropped his board put his hands in the air and screamed my name, I screamed back still riding the fading lump of ocean towards the channel.
That particular ride was nothing special by Hawaii standards, in-fact I don’t think one of the 100 photographers on the beach even pointed their lens at it. But it was my slaying of the demon, I felt like a hero in my own epic story and I was alive with the feeling that I was exactly where I needed to be. On the battle field, conquering the only thing that gets in the way of a life well lived… fear.